


Can't Stop the Rain

by JCMwrites



Category: Social Network (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Rape/Non-con References, Suicide Attempt, v - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-28
Updated: 2011-07-28
Packaged: 2017-10-21 20:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/229642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JCMwrites/pseuds/JCMwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the following prompt found at the TSN kinkmeme:</p><p>Eduardo was kidnapped during childhood in Brazil. That's why Papa Saverin packed up and hauled his family to USA. BUT It happened again right after high school. When he was having a graduation trip in Europe maybe? And these guys hurt him badly. That's why he was late getting into Harvard. PTSD.<br/>He was barely keeping it together, but motherhenning mark actually help him focus. And M/D/C's friendship helps quite a lot.<br/>Mark's betrayal happened and Eduardo tried to kill himself. Whether he's successfull or not is up to anon.</p><p>I think it's quite obvious I want Eduardo's father to be not as much an asshole as he's usually depicted to be. Father and son have complicated relationship is all.</p><p>Prompt URL: http://tsn-kinkmeme.livejournal.com/4426.html?thread=6504010</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Additional warnings: References to attempted suicide, implied violence, implied non-con.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was Beta Read by the wonderful Annie B and Elipie. All errors that remain are my own.

**Can’t Stop the Rain  
By J. Coltrane**

 **This story was beta read by the wonderful Annie B. and Elipie all errors that remain are my own.**

 **Prologue**

 **  
_Four Seasons Silicon Valley Hotel, Room 4035  
Palo Alto, California  
August 2007_   
**

It was raining. Eduardo hated the rain. The rain always brought back memories of events that he would rather forget. In the two months that he spent in London it rained practically every day that he was there. He was never lucky enough to see out the windows of the cheap flat that he was held captive in but the apartment had a tin roof that allowed him to spend hours listening to the rain that pounded relentlessly down on it. He rubbed his wrists together as a phantom ache shot through them. Although, he was currently reclining on the bed in the suite of a pricey hotel, his home for the duration of the depositions, he could still hear the pitter-patter of the rain hitting _that_ roof.

The truth of the matter was that this whole situation was eerily similar to London. Yet again he found himself being fucked over by someone he had trusted. Yet another reason for his father to be disappointed in him and think that he was a worthless idiot.

God, how could he have trusted Mark so easily?

For the last few months he had been fueled by rage. Rage at the fact that Mark would throw their friendship in his face like that and go through such great lengths to fuck him over. He had to admit that part if not most of the rage was directed at himself. After all, he was still protecting the asshole. He had flat-out lied in his testimony during the Narendra and Winklevoss depositions, just to cover for Mark. Mark would probably chalk it up to him trying to protect his potential assets in Facebook. That wasn’t it at all. He still cared for the fucker even after Mark had stabbed him in the back. Not that Mark cared. The indifference that Mark showed day in and day out was killing Eduardo. It was like Eduardo had never mattered to him. Mark had meant everything to Eduardo. He was his best friend and maybe something more although Eduardo was not willing to face that yet. Mark was someone he had felt comfortable with no matter what. He never put up any front about his feelings. He could always count on Mark to tell him the truth. Sure, Mark could be a bit of an asshole sometimes but that was okay with Eduardo because he didn’t have to worry about hidden motives with Mark. Eduardo was not naïve. He knew that Mark was a master manipulator but he would never manipulate Eduardo. At least that was what Eduardo had thought at the time. He had been so wrong.

It had taken a long time for Eduardo to get to a point where he could trust someone again. Eduardo’s friendship not only with Mark, but with Dustin and Chris also, had helped him pull himself back from the brink so many times. But now with the rain falling outside, a lawsuit that seemed to have no end in sight, and Eduardo facing the fact that he was going to go back to his lonely, pointless life of trying to please his father, the rage that had been powering him forward was gone and in its wake he was left with a growing feeling of despondency that was eating him alive. He felt like he had lost everything. The old ghosts were resurfacing and starting to nip at his mind again, their voices sounding an awful lot like his father and. ……someone else. Telling him how worthless he was, how he could never do anything right, he was an embarrassment to the family, he was weak, he was a worthless whore who was only good for one thing. Well, _fuck_ that.

It seemed like no one wanted him here and he was tired of the pain and the misery that he had to go through day and day out. He would never be happy again. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been happy. Maybe when he made the final cut into the Phoenix club but even that was bittersweet because it was the beginning of the end of his friendship with Mark. Really, that pretty much summed up his whole life. Anytime something good happened to him it was only a matter of time before it blew up in his face. Well, he wasn’t going to go through that again.

He looked at the slew of medications that where lined up on the night stand: Zoloft, Ambien, and Klonopin. For as long as he could remember he had been in pain. In that moment he had an epiphany that the only way that the pain was going to end was if he ended it. It was a clichéd thought but he was beyond caring. This was going to end tonight.


	2. Part II

**Part II**

 **_London, England  
Mid June 2000 _ **

Eduardo had never been so happy in his life. He had graduated high school Summa Cum Laude, he was going to be enrolled as a freshman at Harvard University in less than two months, and there was an ocean between him and his father, thanks to his father’s generous graduation present of a month in Europe. Of course Eduardo was no fool -- he knew the true motives behind his father’s gift.. Whatever, life couldn’t get any better then this, or so he thought. He had been in London for two days when he met Stewart.

Stewart was sweet, sexy, and charming and was built like an Adonis. He was also confusing the hell out of Eduardo. Stewart had been flirting with him nonstop ever since they had bumped into each other in the lobby of the hotel Eduardo was staying at. It turned out that Stewart was in London on holiday. He was taking a break before returning to classes at Oxford. They hit it off right away and had been hanging out ever since. Now it was a week later and Eduardo found himself totally infatuated with Stewart and he got the distinct impression that the feelings were mutual.

Sometimes Eduardo would catch himself thinking that Stewart was too good to be true. He was extremely intelligent and loved to talk about everything from the state of the European Union to the ridiculous celebrity gossip that was in the infamous London tabloids. Sometimes they would just talk for hours upon hours. Eduardo would ramble on about weather patterns and how secretly he wanted to be a meteorologist but his father would never go for that. Stewart would listen and give his adamant support, at the same time calling Eduardo’s father a wanker. The only fault that Eduardo could find in Stewart was that he was a little bit possessive which Eduardo had witnessed the other day when Stewart bristled at some guy in a London pub that he and Stewart had ventured to. Eduardo had to literally pull Stewart out of the place before he started a brawl. Eduardo would never admit it to Stewart but seeing him go all caveman on that guy just because he hit on Eduardo really turned him on.

Eduardo had to face facts. He was falling hard for Stewart and he hated the fact that he was going to be leaving soon. Maybe they could have a long distance relationship. They could make it work at least until one or both of them were out of college. Maybe Stewart would be willing to relocate after he graduated from Oxford.

Eduardo was in over his head. He had already extended his stay in London by two days but he was supposed to meet up with his Uncle Hernando and Aunt Felicia in Portugal two days from now. He was going to have to break the news to Stewart.

 

He and Stewart had been making out for the last hour and had just stopped because you could only make out for so long before things progressed to the next level, and Eduardo was nowhere near ready for that. Amazingly, Stewart was very understanding about the whole situation and that made Eduardo fall even harder for him. As they lay in the bed pressed together, content, Eduardo thought to himself that he never wanted this to end. Stewart was playing with Eduardo’s hair, twirling the strands around his fingers. Eduardo had been putting off telling him about his plans all evening and decided it was now or never.

“I’m going to have to catch a flight to Portugal the day after tomorrow. I have to meet my aunt and uncle there.”

Eduardo could feel Stewart’‘s hand freeze immediately. Eduardo found himself tensing up. He had been dreading this conversation because it meant that what they had shared for the last week would be coming to an end. If Stewart felt the same way he did then maybe just maybe they could work this out somehow.

After a brief pause, Stewart asked, “Okay, so when will you be coming back to London?“

“Well, here’s the thing... I was supposed to meet them, and then I was going to leave from there to go to Madrid. Then I would work my way back up through France before coming back here to fly out of Heathrow.”

Stewart abruptly moved to sit up on the edge of the bed, placing distance between him and Eduardo.

“Stewart,” Eduardo stammered. “I can change my plans around and just meet up with my relatives for a day or two and come back here for the remainder of my stay in Europe.”

“But then you would leave,” Stewart said, staring at the floor.

Eduardo nodded carefully and looked at Stewart, confused. “Yeah, I have to get back in six weeks. I’m starting my freshman year at Harvard.”

“What don’t you stay here? You could enroll at Oxford in the fall,” Stewart suggested, turning to face him. “I have a flat in Oxford. You could stay with me.” The hopeful look that Stewart was giving him was doing funny things to Eduardo’s chest. Oh, how he wished he could say yes. But, there was no way he could.

“Well, for starters, I haven’t applied to Oxford, and secondly, my father would never go for that. He has stated in no uncertain terms that it’s Harvard or nowhere.” This was not how Eduardo had seen this conversation unfolding. He didn’t know what to do but he knew that staying here with Stewart would not be an option. His father would kill him but he didn’t want to leave Stewart either.

“You are going to leave here and forget about me, aren’t you? I was just some plaything to pass your time with while you were here,” Stewart accused as he got off the bed and started to pace angrily around the small hotel suite.

“It’s not like that at all, Stewart. You’re the first person that’s ever made me feel this way,” Eduardo pleaded. He really liked Stewart and he didn’t like seeing him upset like this. He stood up and approached him, trying to comfort him. Eduardo was convinced that he was falling in love with Stewart; he just wasn’t ready to tell him that. After all they had only been together for a week.

“You spoiled little rich arsehole. You Yanks are all alike. It’s all about you. You don’t care who you hurt in the long run.”

“What?” Eduardo cried, aborting his attempt at comforting Stewart. The only time that Eduardo had ever heard Stewart raise his voice was at that stupid pub. But now he was yelling at Eduardo. It hurt him to hear Stewart say those things to him.

“You heard me, you wanker,” Stewart hissed, and then he shoved Eduardo so hard that he almost lost his footing. He recovered quickly and looked at Stewart, stricken. A little shiver of fear coursed its way up his spine. He had only known Stewart for a week. Yes, he had fallen for him but maybe Stewart wasn’t all he presented himself to be. There was one thing that Eduardo did know. Stewart had crossed a line by pushing him and maybe they need a little break from each other so that he could sort this out.

“Stewart, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I think you should leave,” Eduardo said, turning his back on Stewart. He was shaking with adrenaline and frankly couldn’t understand what had just happened. Stewart didn’t move a muscle, and Eduardo turned to face him again. “I’m not going to tell you again. I’m going to the restroom, and when I return I would appreciate it if you were gone.” With that, Eduardo turned to walk into the restroom. The next thing he saw was darkness.

He came to a few hours later, only to find that that he was lying face first on a bed, his hands were bound behind his back, and his head felt like it was about to explode from a throbbing pain located somewhere in the back of his skull. To say that he was panicking would be an understatement. Eduardo had to be the most unluckiest fucker out there. If this asshole didn’t kill him, his father sure would. For the second time in his life, Eduardo had been kidnapped.

The next few weeks of Eduardo’s life were filled with about as much pain as any human could imagine. He lost his virginity in the most brutal way possible at the hands of a delusional, psychotic rapist. He was constantly kept bound and gagged. And when the bounds were released and the gag was removed from his mouth he found himself missing them. When he was bound it was horrible because he was completely helpless with only the sound of the rain pounding on the roof to comfort him but when Stewart released him it always meant more pain. Every wakening hour was filled with the terror of what other torture he was going to be subjected to. Eduardo didn’t know how much more of this he could take. Stewart was convinced that they were in a loving relationship and the more Eduardo pleaded with him to let him go the more violent Stewart became. Sometimes Stewart would beat him into unconsciousness. So Eduardo learned to play along with the fantasy that Stewart had playing out in his head but that didn’t always work.

Like today. Stewart had returned to the flat with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine. He was in a chipper mood. Eduardo had learned to grow wary of Stewart when he seemed happy; that just meant that when he snapped he would be more vicious than usual. Apparently it was their two-month anniversary and Stewart wanted to celebrate. Stewart released Eduardo from his bonds and pulled him into a hug.

“Come on, darling, let’s make love,” Stewart whispered seductively into his ear.

Eduardo had to fight hard to keep himself from sobbing, as he forced himself to return Stewart’s embrace. He wanted to die. In fact he knew that he was going to die in this shitty, filthy flat, and no one would be the wiser as to what happened to him. People disappeared all the time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter III**

 **_Miami, Florida  
Two months after the abduction_ **

It had cost Roberto Saverin a small fortune to track Eduardo down. He would have paid ten times that without blanking an eye. Eduardo was his only child and he’d almost lost him once and the guilt of those events had soured his relationship with his son. Although he and Eduardo had trouble communicating that didn’t mean that Roberto didn’t love his son. If it had been up to him the _cabrão_ who had hurt his son would never see the light of day again. The information that he had received said that Eduardo was in pretty bad shape. Roberto was at a loss as to what he should do. Sandra was furious with him for letting Eduardo go to Europe by himself. Hindsight is always twenty/twenty. Roberto had failed his son again.

 _**London, England** _

Eduardo felt so dirty. He had showered ten times today alone. His mother was here with him but he couldn’t meet her eyes much less carry on a conversation with her. He was so ashamed of what he had let that asshole do to him. It was all his fault. He had led Stewart on. He was the one who had gotten in way over his head. How had he let his father down like that after he had trusted him to go to Europe alone?

A week from now, he and his mother would return to the States. Eduardo didn’t know when he would be able to go to Harvard, if ever. Right now he had bigger problems. He couldn’t let anyone within 10 feet of himself without freaking out. He didn’t know how he was going to be able to withstand the flight home, much less going off to college. He was a freak. He was damaged goods. He would never be normal again.

 _**Miami International Airport  
10 weeks after the abduction** _

 

As Eduardo stepped of the plane, Roberto Saverin had to fight hard to keep from gasping when he saw his son. His beautiful _filho_. For all their differences, Roberto truly loved his son and he wanted only the best for him. That’s why they had moved to America, so that Eduardo could be safe. It was all for nothing now.

He looked at Eduardo and saw that the smart and confident boy who had left for Europe two months ago was nowhere to be found. He looked at the bruises covering his son’s face, the limp that Eduardo was desperately trying to hide, the arm in the sling, and the way Eduardo was trying to shrink away from anyone who dared to come in contact with him, and realized that his son had all but been destroyed. There was one thing that he did know and that was that he would do everything in his power to make sure that his son got the best care possible to repair what that monster had done to him.

 _ **Eight month’s after the abduction**_

Eduardo had learned a lot about Stewart Rollins since his return from London. It turned out that Stewart was not in London on holiday. Nor did he attend classes at Oxford. He worked at the hotel that Eduardo was staying at and he had a brutally violent history. He had left Wales fleeing the suspicious death of his long time lover, who had repeatedly filed domestic abuse charges against him prior to his death. Stewart had been extradited back to Wales where he was going to face murder charges. Eduardo had been assured that Stewart would most likely be convicted, but if not, he would be transferred back to England where he would face numerous charges on Eduardo’s behalf. Having all of this knowledge about Stewart didn’t help Eduardo in the least.

It had been eight months since Stewart Rollins turned Eduardo’s life upside down and Eduardo really didn’t see things getting better anytime soon. His psychiatrist said that he was making progress by leaps and bounds but Eduardo was not convinced. Sure, he had progressed from having therapy everyday to just three times a week but he still couldn’t stand to be in close proximity to anyone, including his mother. He had given his father a black eye the first time he had attempted to touch him. So now his father thought that he was even more of a failure, if that was possible.

He and his therapist had talked about him continuing with his life. Calls had been made and the admissions department at Harvard had said that his position there would be held open for the foreseeable future. But Harvard was the last thing on his mind right now. Yes, it was important to him, and no, he didn’t want Stewart to take that away from him but right now he just wanted to get that asshole out of his head.

Sometimes Eduardo would find himself believing in the fantasy that he and Stewart were lovers. Just because Stewart lost his temper from time to time didn’t mean that he didn’t love Eduardo. Sometimes Stewart had made it easy for him by being the tender, gentle person that Eduardo had first fallen for. Now he was punishing himself for having those thoughts. How could he have been so stupid? Stewart was right. He was only good for spreading his legs.

 _**14 months after the abduction** _

Things where starting to get a little easier for Eduardo. He wasn’t waking up in cold sweats with a scream on his lips every night. Sometimes he could go for days without having a nightmare but then it would all come crashing down on him in a moment’s notice and he would be a wreck for days, closing himself off from the rest of the world. Some days he still felt like giving up because things would never be right again but those days were actually starting to be outnumbered by the good days. On those days he felt like he could make it and that was something to hold on to.

 _**22 months after the abduction** _

Eduardo almost felt like a new person. He had made great strides in his recovery and he could actually interact with people on a day-to-day basis without being on the verge of a panic attack. His mother could even hug him.

He had decided to continue with his plans to attend Harvard. After all it wasn’t just his father’s dream but his dream also. He would succeed. Eduardo always felt better when his mind was engaged and of course he was an over-achiever so Harvard would be the perfect distraction from the hell his life had become. For the first time in his life Eduardo felt like he had a future waiting for him. He knew things would not be perfect but maybe, just maybe, he could leave Stewart behind and continue on with his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part IV**

 ** _Harvard University  
Fall 2003 _**

Eduardo for the most part had kept to himself his freshman year at Harvard. He could count on one hand the number of people that he associated with on a regular basis. Mostly his life consisted of going to class, studying, eating, and sleeping. The only reason that he had joined the AEPi and the Harvard Investment Association was because his therapist, whom he still spoke to once a week, had encouraged him to seek more social interaction. So it was by complete chance that Eduardo stumbled upon Mark that night.

The first time Eduardo met Mark he was insulting some senior’s intelligence at an AEPi meeting. Apparently Mark thought that this guy was an idiot and that his 13 year-old sister knew more about computer programming. Which kinda figured because Mark tended to insult people… a lot. But that was Mark for you. He had an air of intelligence that surrounded him and he seemed like he wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Eduardo liked him a lot. It was nice to have someone around that didn’t hide his words in subterfuge. Eduardo had gotten really good at spotting fake people over the past few years.

He found himself timidly approaching Mark after the upperclassman that Mark had insulted walked off in a huff.

“Hi, my names Eduardo Saverin” he said awkwardly, holding his hand out in greeting. Mark looked at him, as if sizing him up. Apparently he passed the assessment because Mark shook his hand.

“Mark Zuckerberg.”

No nice to meet you or any other pleasantries, just his name. Direct and to the point.

“So, Mark, you don’t mince your words much, do you?”

“Why should I?” was Mark’s gibed response.

Eduardo had a routine to his life. He would be the first to admit that it was rather sad but that was how he coped. He lived like a hermit and his routine consisted of getting up showering, eating, going to class, eating, studying, sleeping, and repeat. Throw in his weekly therapy sessions and the occasional meeting for the Harvard Investment Association and that was Eduardo’s life.

 

Over the next few weeks he found himself deviating from his normal routine to hang out with Mark and eventually Mark’s suitemates, Chris and Dustin. Eduardo had to admit that even in high school before the events of London he was a bit of a hermit. Not socializing as much as a normal high schooler (whatever that was). He had never had close friends like Mark. Yes, their friendship was odd because Mark had a lifelong relationship with his laptop (they were soul mates) but he and Mark just clicked anyway. Eduardo was ultra polite. Mark was extremely rude. Eduardo was always five seconds away from being a nervous wreck (prevented only by a pharmacy of drugs). Mark was fearless. Eduardo had been through so much that he never felt clean. Mark was innocent. They were polar opposites of each other yet somehow still the best of friends.

Sometimes out of boredom or just wanting to hang out, Mark would seek him out at one of his lectures. They would sit in the back of the auditorium and Mark would spew out a running commentary about the professor, usually something to do with the professor’s sex life or lack thereof. Where Eduardo’s weekends used to consist of studying and waiting for the weekend to end so that he could start up his weekly routine anew, they now consisted of Halo marathons, Dungeons and Dragons (a la Dustin), and just general college stupidity.

Eduardo found himself being happy again. Mark, Dustin, and Chris made him forget about the bad things. Of course he should have known that happiness was not meant for him.

Things changed when Mark met Erica. As with all new relationships, Mark and Erica spent a lot of time together, which was to be expected. Eduardo couldn’t quite shake the feeling that Mark really wasn’t all that into Erica. She was a sweet girl but Eduardo didn’t see it lasting, so on the night of the whole Facesmash debacle Eduardo had to say that he wasn’t surprised that she had broken up with Mark. Later, Eduardo would admit, rather guiltily, that he was happy that they had ended it.

Eduardo was sure that Mark breaking up with Erica would mean that they would go back to their regular routine together. This was not the case. Mark became bitter and obsessed with showing Erica that she had made a mistake in not liking him. The irony of that was that Eduardo was sure that he was correct in his assessment that Mark didn’t really like Erica Albright but Mark was not one to take rejection lying down.

So Mark created Facebook as a giant fuck you to Erica Albright, the Harvard Ad board and everyone else who had dared to cross him. He brought Eduardo, Dustin, and Chris along for the ride. To be truthful things had kind of gotten back to normal for Eduardo and Mark. Mark was yet again married to his computer and Eduardo was yet again back to mothering Mark and serving as a buffer between him and the rest of society. Eduardo was happy with being CFO of Facebook even though he and Mark had quite a few differences when it came to the profit side of Facebook. Eduardo’s father had raised him with the belief that a business wasn’t really a business unless it was yielding a profit. Even giving their constant bickering about the business side of Facebook (including the Winklevi) things were actually great. Facebook was growing at an exponential rate and all was right with the world. That was, until Sean Parker arrived on the scene.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part V**

**_Harvard University  
Spring 2004_ **

To say that Eduardo had come a long way since the events of London would be an understatement. Harvard had completely changed his life for the better. He loved the academics, being surrounded by so much brainpower; he loved the prestige, and the fact that he had been tapped for the Phoenix Club was almost surreal. But the best thing that happened to Eduardo at Harvard, hands down, was the friendship that he had developed with Mark, Chris, and Dustin. It was life altering. It showed Eduardo that he could be human again and not a big seething mass of hurt all the time. The last eight months had been the best in his life. He was finally healing.

It only took a month for it to come crashing down on him. At the end of March Eduardo was given the official notification that he was formally accepted into the Phoenix Club. He, Eduardo Saverin, was in a Final Club. He was beyond ecstatic and the first person that he wanted to share this with was Mark. Mark was less then excited about the fact that Eduardo had been accepted. Eduardo kind of got the impression that Mark was actually jealous and just a little pissed at him. He really couldn’t understand why. Mark should be happy for him. Mark had everything including majority ownership in a company that was potentially worth millions if not billions. Mark had never endured any kind of hardship. Mark had parents and siblings that loved him. He had never been raped or beaten. Mark had Eduardo’s love, and friendship; that’s right, his love. The least he could do was show a little happiness that something great had happened to Eduardo.

 

_**New York, New York  
April 2004** _

Their trip to New York, outside of the fact that Eduardo got to meet Mark’s family, had been a total waste of time. Mark was also being a total ass about getting sponsors for the website. And then they had met Sean. Eduardo thought that Sean was an asshole. He projected an air of confidence but underneath it Eduardo could tell that he was a calculating jerk who would stab you in the back without a moments notice. No, Eduardo definitely did not like him but Mark was staring at Sean like he was the latest MacBook Pro and that was pissing Eduardo off even more. They were supposed to be in New York scaring up new investors but that had been a colossal waste of time too. Maybe it was time that they got back to Harvard. Back to reality where there weren’t any fast-talking, Prada-wearing, assholes who were trying to sink their teeth into Mark.

When they got back to Harvard, things continued to deteriorate between Mark and Eduardo. Dustin and Chris started shooting worried looks at them whenever they thought he wasn’t looking. Whenever Mark and Eduardo ended up in the same room they usually got into an argument. Sean Parker started popping up more and more in Mark’s conversations with Eduardo. Mark had become increasing infatuated with Sean Parker since the moment they had met. To Mark, Sean was a rock star. He helped cofound Napster and what more could you ask for, right? When Mark announced that he was going to California for the summer a week before finals, Eduardo got the sinking feeling that he was losing Mark. Mark said that he wanted Eduardo in California but Eduardo wasn’t convinced. He elected to stay behind and go to New York. Maybe with Mark in California he might be able to make some headway in New York with new investors. It would be tough balancing his internship with scouting for money but he would do it for Mark. Maybe if he landed a big fish for Facebook, Mark would stop looking at him like he was a failure.

_**Palo Alto, California  
Summer 2004 ** _

His heart was palpitating and he was having a hard time catching his breath; thinking coherently was out of the question. At first he felt pain because he knew this was the end of him and Mark but now all he could feel was rage.

The rage that Eduardo felt currently knew no bounds. Mark, Mark of all people had betrayed him. He should have seen it coming. The cold look that Mark gave him when he smashed that laptop in a fit of rage. Didn’t he know that he was killing Eduardo in that moment, Eduardo felt like he was being raped all over again. He loved Mark. And it was just all so confusing. Yes, he had frozen the accounts but only for a day. He just wanted Mark to know that he was pushing him away and it was hurting him. He should have known that Mark would react this way. But he didn’t. It seemed that the only thing that Mark cared about was Facebook. Well, fuck him. He could have Facebook. Eduardo only cared about Facebook because Mark cared about Facebook. The rage and the adrenaline were starting to wear off. And the despair was starting to creep in. He just couldn’t believe that Mark had done this to him. Were Dustin and Chris in on it too? Had he lost everyone? They had to have known. Of course they would side with Mark. Mark was brilliant. A freaking genius, certainly MENSA material, and Eduardo was a failure at everything he did.

After he smashed Mark’s laptop he blanked out. He vaguely remembered making that asshole Sean jump but besides that he was a little fuzzy on the details. His phone had been ringing and buzzing non stop since he left Facebook. Texts from Dustin and phone calls from Chris but he didn’t want to talk to them. He didn’t know what he wanted to do. He couldn’t believe that this was happening to him.

 

_**Harvard University  
Fall 2004** _

His father always told him that he trusted too easily; that he had a soft heart. Eduardo always saw it for the criticism that it was. Well, now he had no heart because Mark had ripped it out. He was running on autopilot. He hadn’t talked to his therapist in weeks. He was back at Harvard enrolled in classes. He didn’t know how that had happened. Chris was there too. He had seen him last week in the quad. Chris had called out to him but he turned and walked away as fast as he could.

Eduardo didn’t want to hear anything about Facebook. He had fallen back into his normal routine of sleeping, studying, and maybe sometimes he would eat. He wouldn’t think about Mark, he wouldn’t think about Facebook, he wouldn’t think about those nights spent in Kirkland. Talking with Mark about…everything, until the wee hours of the morning. None of those things mattered. Nothing mattered except finishing what he had started. Eduardo would have continued that way until the day he was served with a summons. Mark “Fucking” Zuckerberg was suing him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Part VI**

 **_Harvard University  
Spring 2005_ **

This was complete bullshit. How could Mark think that he had any grounds to sue him. He was the jerk who had diluted Eduardo’s shares down to .003. It was completely preposterous. Yet there it was from the law offices of Dunn, Gibson, and Crutcher. Dunn, Gibson? Where had Mark gotten that kind of money? This asshole had taken everything from him and now to add insult to the injury he was suing him. Eduardo had no choice but to call his father.

 

 _**Miami, Florida  
Spring 2006** _

It was funny how easily the rage came back to Eduardo. He was meeting with his attorney, Gretchen, today. It was the first time that they had met in person. As he and Gretchen went over the timeline for the past two years, Eduardo found himself growing increasingly angry as time went by. At the end of their first meeting Gretchen told him that they had no choice but to countersue. In fact Gretchen was in shock that Mark had sued him in the first place. So was he for that matter.

“Eduardo, listen to me, you where wronged not the other way around. I have to say frankly that I’m surprised that you didn’t file suit against Facebook months ago.”

Eduardo just nodded his head. “I should have but I just couldn’t handle it at the time, you know.”

“Don’t worry, Eduardo, I don’t usually say things like this but we are going to win. What Mark Zuckerberg did to you was completely unethical. No one practices business that way outside of organized crime.”

Eduardo just nodded and got up to leave. He disagreed with her. Look at Brutus and Caesar. Or even more current events such as Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. No, people screwed other people over all time. Eduardo just thought Mark would never do that to him. Look at where that had gotten him.

 

 _**The Law offices of Gibson, Dunn, & Crutcher  
Palo Alto, California  
July 2007** _

It would be three years before Eduardo Saverin saw Mark again. It was at the depositions of Narenda and the Winklevoss twins. If anything Mark hadn’t changed. Maybe he had grown colder since he had last seen him. He had heard about some of the shake-ups at Facebook. Sean Parker was out. Eduardo couldn’t help smirking over that, he had warned Mark, after all. Chris had left to join the Obama campaign. This came as no surprise to Eduardo. Chris had always had political ambitions. But there sat Mark and he looked exactly the same. Eduardo couldn’t believe it. His whole world had been turned upside down again but Mark looked exactly the same. He still acted (not really an act) like he was the smartest person in the room and no one, _no one_ could touch him.

Eduardo sat there and watched Mark toy with the Winklevoss twins and their lawyer. Chewing them up and spitting them out. They didn’t have a leg to stand on and everyone in the room knew it, especially Mark. The only chance they had would be if this were to go to trial (which it wouldn’t). Mark was being such ass that the jury/judge would rule in their favor out of spite.

The problem that Eduardo had with the Winklevoss deposition was the fact that he had covered for Mark, when he didn’t have to. It was like second nature. The smirk that Mark shot him in response made him want to vomit. Apparently, he was still Mark’s bitch. Good to know.

His part in the depositions of the Winklevoss suit was over but Eduardo was still stuck in Palo Alto because in two weeks his and Mark’s deposition would start.

Eduardo had free time on his hands so that’s how he found himself logging in to the Facebook website. It had been the first time in over two years.

Eduardo found himself grudgingly admitting that the site looked… awesome. Still didn’t matter because he could never use this site. He wouldn’t give that asshole the satisfaction. In a fit of rebellion Eduardo deleted his account. Now if only there was a delete button for getting Mark out of his life.

It had been three weeks since the depositions had started for his suit against Mark and the whole process was taking its toll on Eduardo. Seeing Mark day in and day out hurt so much because he loved Mark so much and that fucker didn’t even care. He just set there doodling on his notepad like they were back at Harvard and this was just some boring lecture that he had to sit through.

Eduardo’s rage at Mark had worn off around week one of the depositions and now it was increasingly being directed inward.

Every day that Eduardo left the depositions to go back to his sad hotel room he would fluctuate between either wanting to curl into a ball and bawling his eyes out or trashing the room and screaming with rage. He did neither. Instead he felt himself growing increasingly numb to the point that he could feel nothing. On the third week of the depositions Chris and Dustin made an appearance. It was their turn to give testimony. They tried to talk to him but he was having no part of that. They had made their choice and it wasn’t him. Sometimes during breaks he would see them huddled together, shooting him worried little glances. They needn’t worry. Hell would freeze over before he spoke to them. The whole situation was beyond bizarre and Gretchen had told him that he didn’t have to be there every day if he didn’t want to. What the hell else was he going to do? No, if Mark could sit there day in and day out like this meant nothing then so could he. Or so he thought. Then he broke down.

“I was your only friend.”

Except that wasn’t true. It was the opposite. Mark was his only friend. His first real friend in a long time, maybe ever. He had come so close to sharing so much with Mark. Things he hadn’t even told his therapist. He had almost told him about London. About Stewart and the fact that he had still loved Stewart even after he had started hurting him. How even after Stewart yanked his arm up behind his back and slowly put pressure on it until a deafening crack was heard, he still begged him for forgiveness. Begged him for his love. How he never thought he was going to be able to be intimate with another person again.

God, he couldn’t do this anymore.


	7. Chapter 7

**Part VII**

 **_Palo Alto, California  
August 2007 _ **

There was something going on with Eduardo.

People often got the impression that Mark was some type of bitchy cyborg that was incapable of deciphering human emotion. That was fine with him. It made it that much easier for him to insult anyone at any given time to their face and get away with it. But the truth was Mark was not a cyborg. Far from it. Mark had feelings and he was pissed at Eduardo. Eduardo, whom he had begged to come to Palo Alto with him because he knew that he was losing him. Eduardo, his best friend who had ditched him and Facebook for some lame ass internship at Lehman Brothers. Eduardo, who insisted on generating some type of revenue from Facebook because “that’s the point of starting a business” even it meant putting lame ass, annoying ads on Facebook that were sure to kill the site. The same Eduardo who had frozen the accounts of Facebook because Mark had “hurt him”.

Still, there was definitely something wrong with Eduardo. It was like he was a ghost of himself. The person that he sat across from every day in these stupid ass “complete waste of time” depositions was changing right before his eyes. He had seen glimpses of this Eduardo in the past back at Harvard. Bouts of melancholy in which Eduardo would disappear for a day or two, only to return with sad haunted eyes. That sad haunted Eduardo was here all the time now. When they had first started this stupid mess Eduardo used to sit across from him literally seething with anger. But gradually over the last two weeks, that Eduardo had disappeared and was replaced by this broken Eduardo.

He wasn’t the only one who picked up on the sadness. Both Chris and Dustin had commented on Eduardo’s appearance at the depositions. He had overheard them whispering conspiratorially one day. They were having lunch together in one of the swanky lounges of Dunn, Gibson and Crutcher. Mark was “plugged in” and Chris and Dustin had their heads huddled together.

“I don’t know what’s up with him. He won’t return any of our phone calls or emails and you can’t get within five feet of him before one of those vultures sweeps in like we are going to attack him or something,” Dustin said morosely.

“I talked to him yesterday,” Chris said.

“What?”

That got Mark’s attention. He chanced a glance at Chris. Chris of course chose that exact moment to look up. Mark had a sneaking suspicion that Chris and Dustin knew he was listening.

“Yeah, I talked to him but he wouldn’t even look me in the eye. He just said that we betrayed him. He sounded really weird, you know.”

Mark did know. Eduardo had always been a very passionate individual. His voice always conveyed some type of emotion.I In the past few weeks that had changed. Whenever Eduardo spoke, his voice was flat. Almost monotone. It was disconcerting to say the least. And there was his physical appearance. He was paler than Mark had ever seen him. There were bags under his eyes. He generally appeared to be…. unwell. There was definitely something up with Eduardo and it seemed like the only people that Eduardo was talking to these days were his attorneys.

When he looked up a second time he caught Dustin’s eyes. Dustin was staring at him like he was saying “do something, asshole” with his eyes.

Everyone thought Mark was an asshole.

Even Mark’s own attorneys thought that he was an asshole regardless of what Marilyn said. She was a lawyer, they were paid to say that shit. There was only one other person, outside of Mark’s mother, who had never thought he was an asshole. That was until he fucked him over. That was the truth of the matter. Yes, Eduardo and he weren’t on the same page as far as Facebook was concerned. He’d pushed him away but they were already drifting apart long before that. Still he felt guilty that he had caused so much pain. _For both of them._ Granted Eduardo was no innocent in this matter but there was a possibility that he had over-reacted and let some of the newest members of Facebook talk him into screwing Eduardo out of the company completely. But if Eduardo had just done what he had said he was going to do, he wouldn’t have put Mark into the position of being the biggest jerk ever.

That was beside the point though. Eduardo was hurting and Mark did not like seeing him hurt. He just didn’t know what to do about it.

 _ **Later that day**_

It was the end of the day and Sy had pulled him aside.

“We need to settle, Mark, and you’re going to have to give up a huge chunk of shares.”

“How much?”

“I want to offer them 5% of the company initially but we may have to give up as much as 7%.”

“Do it”.

“Okay. I’ll have something drawn up tonight. We should have something for you first thing tomorrow morning.”

Mark acknowledged Sy with a nod of his head.

Suddenly Mark was hit with a feeling that he should go talk to Eduardo. Outside of some of the barbs they had exchanged over the course of the depositions, he had made no effort to talk to Eduardo since the night that Facebook hit one million users. That wasn’t to say that he didn’t want to talk to him; it was just logical not to talk to him. He knew that it would lead to an emotional scene and even though his words and actions would speak otherwise, Mark did not like confrontation.

Mark realized that if he let this settlement go down without talking to Eduardo and possibly “clearing the air”, to use a trite saying, there was a huge possibility that he and Eduardo would never speak again. Suddenly the thought of that happening was unacceptable.

He quickly gathered up his things. He was going to track Eduardo down, tonight.

Of course Eduardo’s attorneys proved useless. That was okay, he had his ways. After all when it came down to it, Mark was a hacker first and foremost. He would find Eduardo.


	8. Chapter 8

**Part VIII**

 **_Four Seasons Silicon Valley Hotel, Front Lobby  
Palo Alto, California  
August 2007_ **

 

Mark found himself at the front desk of Eduardo’s hotel at 11 o’clock that night.

“I’m sorry, sir, he’s not answering,” said the attendant at the front desk.

“What do you mean he’s not answering? I know for a fact that he’s here.”

Mark wouldn’t go into the specifics of how he knew. He had his ways. So what if he had hacked into the system to gain access to Eduardo’s phone.

“Look,” Mark was not above lying when the situation permitted, “his uncle died and he’s not answering his phone and I need to let him know. Isn’t there something you can do?”

Of course it worked. Did people still fall for that crap, seriously? What an idiot. It might have something to do with his non-threatening appearance but what did that matter? That’s how he found himself being let into Eduardo’s room by the hotel staffer.

The next thirty minutes were the worst that Mark had ever experienced in his life. When he and the concierge entered the room Mark figured that Eduardo was asleep. But immediately he realized that something was wrong because Eduardo had to be the lightest sleeper in the world. Just them entering the room should have wakened him. As Mark approached the figure lying across the bed he felt a chill course down his spine. Eduardo wasn’t moving and Mark suddenly knew that Eduardo was not just sleeping. With that thought, Mark Zuckerberg the cyborg, the Ice King, the heartless bastard, panicked.

 _**Stanford Medical Center  
Stanford, California (15 miles SW of Palo Alto) ** _

He didn’t even leave a note. Of course if his mother were here right now she would tell him that most people don’t leave notes. But Wardo wasn’t the type to leave loose ends. He should’ve left a note. What did it matter anyway? It wouldn’t change the fact that Wardo almost succeeded in killing himself tonight and they still weren’t out of the woods.

With further thought, Mark knew that no note was needed. He and everyone else knew that he was probably a huge part of the reason why Eduardo had done this.

Thank God, he hadn’t been successful. It was touch and go for a while. Mark learned some new medical terminology such as gastric lavage (stomach pumping), and that kidney dialysis was completely useless against certain narcotics and Eduardo’s survival hinged completed on how efficient Eduardo’s liver was at filtering out the toxins that remained in his system. At the end of the day the bottom line was that Eduardo was alive.

It had been sixteen hours since Mark had discovered Eduardo in his hotel room dying from a drug overdose. Mark would have made a snide comment about how clichéd this whole thing was except that it wasn’t. This was his life and it was actually happening. Eduardo was in ICU fighting for his life and apparently the only thing that was keeping his heart from stopping completely was the dopamine drip that was being administered to him through the IV. As Mark stood over Eduardo’s still form, willing him to wake up, it suddenly hit him that if he hadn’t gone to that hotel to speak with Eduardo that night, Eduardo wouldn’t be here. But Mark was no hero. In fact, in this case Mark would definitely file himself into the antagonist category.

It was now going on 36 hours since Eduardo had attempted suicide. Mark had refused to leave the hospital. He wasn’t the only one. Chris was here too. In fact Chris had kind of taken over the whole situation. He had alerted everyone of importance about the…situation (Wardo almost killing himself) and had gotten in touch with Eduardo’s parents who would be here in a matter of hours. He also was constantly checking on Mark.

“Are you okay, Mark? Is there anything I can get you?”

Usually this would annoy Mark but he was just grateful that he wasn’t here alone. Dustin had only left a few hours ago to deal with some minor crisis at Facebook. What crisis? Mark didn’t know. Surprisingly, Facebook was the furthest thing from Mark’s mind right now.

What are you doing here, Mark, he asked himself. He really didn’t know what he was doing here. He just knew he couldn’t leave. Not until he knew that Eduardo was going to make it through this. He had to make it through this.

 

It had been forty-eight hours since Eduardo had been admitted and he was still unconscious. The Saverins had arrived with a small entourage of people a few hours earlier. They had pointedly ignored Mark’s presence, speaking only to Chris. Mark barely noticed because he was too busy freaking out because Eduardo was still fucking unconscious. When Mark got extremely stressed out, he would go into what Dustin had termed “statue” mode. He would shut out everything that was around and try to solve the problem. Usually he was in front of a laptop coding but in this case coding held no answers.

Mark didn’t know how many hours he had zoned out but the next thing he knew Chris was shaking him.

“He’s awake, Mark,” Chris exclaimed. “He’s awake.”

“I need to see him,” was Mark’s only response.

Apparently and not surprisingly, Eduardo wanted no part of Mark or anyone else even loosely associated with Facebook. That hurt but it was to be expected.

What also was to be expected was that Mark was not one to take no for an answer. He just waited until an opportunity presented itself. When a small party of people asked for admittance to see a patient, he just nicely inserted himself into the group and voila he was in. He had to see with his own eyes that Eduardo was awake and alive in the here and now. Just to be sure.

When Eduardo looked up to meet Mark’s eyes as he entered the room there was no surprise there, just resignation.

“You’re not supposed to be here, Mark.”

Eduardo sounded impossibly tired. Like there was not an ounce of energy remaining in his body. And to prove the point he turned his head and stared listlessly at the other side of the room, ignoring Mark.

“I just…wanted to make sure that you were, you know,” real smooth, Zuckerberg, Mark chastised himself.

“Well, I’m still here. Thanks to you, asshole. Thanks a whole lot for that,” Eduardo said sarcastically. “Now that your curiosity has been satisfied you should go before I call someone.”

“Eduardo, I just wanted to—”

“What are you doing in here,” a slightly accented baritone voice demanded.

Mark turned to find himself face to face with Eduardo’s father. A normal person would have showed guilt or maybe even fear but Mark had never striven to be considered normal. He just returned Mr. Saverin’s steely gaze with cold indifference.

 _”Pai, deixa isso pra lá,”_ pleaded Eduardo.

Roberto Saverin's gaze turned to Eduardo and softened for the briefest moment before he turned back to Mark.

"I would like a word with you…Mark is it?" And with that Mr. Saverin turned and walked out of the ICU. It wasn’t a request. It was an order. Strangely, Mark found himself complying.

In his "Eduardo in peril” induced stupor Mark had failed to notice that Mr. Saverin traveled with a security detail that would have rivaled that of the President of the United States. As he followed Mr. Saverin to wherever it was they were going he found himself shadowed by these menacing figures. Who was this guy? Mark had to admit that he was starting to feel just a little bit intimidated

They ended up in a deserted waiting room.

“I don’t understand you at all Mr. Zuckerberg. I am a businessman, yes. So believe me I know all about turning a profit and being successful but what you’ve done to myboy. I don’t understand it. We do not do such things to people who love us.”

What? Love? Where did that come from? Mark found himself questioning that. But Mr. Saverin did not give Mark a chance to respond before continuing.

“He was so excited about this company that you and he had started. You and Facebook were all he talked about for months. He was scared that I would be disappointed that he had fallen for a man but that was not the case. I was just happy to see that he was happy again. It didn’t matter who it was that was making him happy.”

It was becoming increasingly obvious that Mark was not expected to contribute to this bizarre conversation.

“Eduardo has been through so much and to think that with you knowing of his past you would do such a thing to him,” Mr. Saverin continued.

Mark was clueless as to what Mr. Savarin was talking about.

He just sat there blinking owlishly at Mr. Saverin with confusion. What the hell? He was actually speechless. Mr. Saverin gave him an assessing look for a moment before seeming to come to a decision.

“He didn’t tell you about what happened in London.” It was a statement not a question. He took Mark’s continued silence as the affirmation that it was.

“Well, that’s not my story to tell. And it still does not excuse your actions. He talked so much about you that I thought that you and he were… I guess not. I love Eduardo; he is my only son. He’s been through a lot but he is the strongest man I have ever known and I’m proud that he is my son. Let me tell you something, Mr. Zuckerberg, if you hurt my son again, it will be you that’s in the hospital. Eduardo is going to be transferred to a treatment facility in Miami in a few hours. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want to see you. So I think that it would be best that you leave now”

And with that Roberto Saverin stood up and walked out of the waiting room followed by his entourage of dark suited men.

Maybe there was something to the rumor that Eduardo’s family was in tight with the Brazilian Mafia. That really didn’t concern Mark. What did concern him was the fact that Mr. Saverin was under the impression that he and Eduardo had been in some type of relationship. Mark didn’t quite know how he felt about that. And what was this business about London?

Suddenly Mark found himself flashing back to a memory at Kirkland. One of the few times that Eduardo had fallen asleep in Mark’s room. He remembered it because Eduardo had a bad nightmare that night. A nightmare in which he mentioned someone named Stewart and something about London. Eduardo had actually started crying in his sleep and Mark had felt obligated to wake him. Eduardo proceeded to have a minor freak out which resulted in Mark dodging flailing limbs. When Eduardo came to reality, recognizing Mark, he had immediately excused himself and left the room at almost a full sprint. The next day Eduardo hadn’t brought it up and Mark dismissed the whole encounter as Eduardo being Eduardo. But know he found himself wondering, what happened to Eduardo in London?

 

 _Pai, deixa isso pra lá_ Father, please leave it. (According to Google Translate D: )


	9. Chapter 9

**Part IX**

 **_Palo Alto, California  
October 2007_ **

It had been a few weeks since Eduardo’s family had whisked him off to Miami. Although it had chafed a little bit Mark had found himself obeying Mr. Saverin’s orders. So he hadn’t seen Eduardo since their brief visit in the ICU.

The whole thing had put Mark into a weird funk where he alternated between biting peoples’ heads off or responding with stony silence.

So that’s how it went for a while. People gave Mark a wide berth for fear of getting their heads bitten off and Mark continued to ignore them. Chris had gone back to the Obama campaign and that left only Dustin. Dustin’s way of handling the situation was to pretend that there was no situation.

Sy had sent a settlement agreement to Eduardo and his attorneys but there was no response. Of course there wouldn’t be a response because Eduardo was locked up in rehab. In the meantime Mark continued his search into Eduardo’s past. He was going to get to the bottom of this London mystery if it killed him. Okay, so he was being a little dramatic. But something significant had happened to Eduardo in London and he needed to know what it was.

 

It had taken some digging and possibly Mark had broken some international laws but he had what he was looking for. The file had been especially hard to find because apparently the assailant was dead, causing the file to be sealed. That and the fact that Mark was hacking into an international criminal database. The problem was that he wished that he wasn’t that good. The account of what had happened to Eduardo written in the sharp and concise tones of the investigators was beyond devastating. According to the report, an E.Saverin, aged 18, had been kidnapped, brutally beaten, subjected to repeated acts of sodomy…Oh God.

The report went into to many more details that Mark found himself unable to process. He had never expected anything like this but in a way a lot of things about Eduardo started making sense. It was too much to process at one time.

Mark didn’t know how to make sense of the emotions he was feeling but one emotion did shine through clearly, and that was rage.

He was not a violent person but right now he wanted to smash something. Who would hurt Eduardo, fucking _beautiful_ Eduardo, like that? The rush of protectiveness and rage that coursed through Mark at that moment was immeasurable. If the fucker who had done this to Eduardo weren’t already dead he would sell the majority of his shares of Facebook to take a hit out on that monster.

How could he have been so fucking blind? IT all made so much fucking sense now. So many of Eduardo’s quirks that Mark chalked up to him just being eccentric and sometimes just a bit of a prude. How he would never get drunk or high, or anything that would result in him losing control. How when they first met and started hanging out, Eduardo had the hugest personal space bubble that Mark had ever seen. Eventually over time Eduardo had relaxed to the point that he was almost handsy when it came to Mark. How Eduardo would sometimes disappear for a few days at a time and when he came back he would look like hell. The fact that Eduardo always, wore long sleeves and dressed from head to toe no matter what the situation. He wore his clothes as if they were a shield. A lot of things made sense now. What didn’t make since was why Eduardo had chosen a self-proclaimed asshole to be his friend after all the shit he had been through.

 

He had chosen Mark. He had reached out to Mark after all the hell he had been through. And what had Mark done? He fucking stabbed Eduardo in the back and drove him to commit suicide.

How the fuck do you fix that?

Mark came to the conclusion that he had to see Eduardo. He had to talk to him and make this right. He didn’t know how he was going to accomplish that exactly but he knew that he couldn’t do that here in Palo Alto. Eduardo was more important. Eduardo had trusted him and he had let him down. Yes, what Mark did may have seemed like a dick move even if Eduardo hadn’t been in the situation that he was in. But now in the light of this new information, Mark knew that he probably came off as sadistic and cruel. It didn’t matter that Eduardo hadn’t told him about his past; he still felt like a monster.

In his rush to leave the office Mark plowed right into Dustin.

"Wha— Mark, where are you going?”

“Can’t talk now, Dustin. I have to go see Eduardo.”

“Mark, Eduardo is in Miami,” Dustin replied, looking at Mark as if he was not all there.

“I know that.”

Now Dustin was following him as he headed to the elevator. “Mark, I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“I don’t care. I need to talk to him,” Mark said.

Before they could reach the elevators Mark found himself being forcibly pulled into a conference room.

"What the fuck, Dustin?"

“You need to sit for a minute and calm down, Mark. You're acting like a possessed man.”

And with that he pushed Mark into one of the conference room chairs.

Mark was having no part of that and scrambled to get back up, only to have Dustin force him back down again.

“Mark, Mark, do you realize that you’re crying.”

Not until that moment. No, Mark hadn’t known he was crying but as he touched his face he could feel the wetness there.

“Talk to me about what’s going on.” And then realization hit and Dustin was freaking out.

“Has Eduardo hurt himself again? I thought he was in rehab. Mark, Mark, talk to me,” Dustin pleaded, as he gripped Mark by the shoulders.

“Dustin, Dustin, calm down. As far as I know Eduardo is still safe in rehab. I just need to talk to him because… Dustin did Eduardo ever talk to you about his past? “

“What? Dustin asked with surprise. He paused for a moment before replying. “Mark you’re the only person that Eduardo really talked to. I mean sure we were buddies and all but Eduardo really only had eyes for you.”

What the hell was that suppose to mean? Mark was starting to get the impression that he was missing out on something key that everyone else seemed to know about his interactions with Eduardo.

“Mark, if Eduardo is okay can you please tell me why you’re so upset right now not to mention the fact that you almost bulldozed over me and half a dozen people back there?”

Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to get some advice from Dustin.

“Dustin, before Eduardo came to Harvard he was kidnapped and held captive by a psychopath in England for two months.”

"Are you shitting me?" Dustin said as he plopped down into a conference room chair.

“No, Dustin, I’m not shitting you. I wouldn’t make this up. That’s not all. I mean, this guy he really did a number on Eduardo. I don’t even…” With that Mark stood up. “Come on, it’s just better if you read it for yourself.”

“If it were possible to kill someone twice I would fly across the pond and dig this guy up and kill him again,” Dustin said vehemently a few hours later.

Mark jerked his head in agreement.

They were at Dustin’s place trying to figure out a course of action regarding Eduardo.

“I mean, what do we do with this, Mark? I don’t know how to feel about this. And then with Facebook.”

Mark flinched at that statement.

Facebook.

Mark had a feeling that his dilution of Eduardo’s shares may have felt like another attack to Eduardo. It was a thought that had been eating him alive ever since he had read that file. He had essentially ripped Facebook away from Eduardo. It didn’t matter that he intended for Eduardo to sue him to get back a portion of his shares. To someone with Eduardo’s past it must have felt like another,,,rape. And that was something that Mark could not stomach. He had to make this right some how.

Eduardo was not the right CFO for Facebook but Mark could have handled the situation better then he had. He had retaliated out anger without out having all of the correct parameters. He had to fix this. That was something that he and Dustin had been battering around for the past three hours.

“You can’t just show up in Miami, Mark. As much as you want to you can’t just barge in and confront Eduardo. Who knows what kind of state he’s in. That could be the last thing that he needs right now.”

“Dustin, I have to do something. I know that you and Chris disagreed with me about diluting Eduardo out of the company but I still feel like replacing Eduardo as CFO was the right thing to do for Facebook. It was a douche move, yes, but if I had known about Eduardo’s past, I would have handled it differently and we both know that Eduardo would have handled the situation differently if he didn’t have this in his past. I just wish I had known.”

“Don’t we all?” Dustin replied.

That night neither Mark nor Dustin could come up a plan of action. And it was frustrating Mark. He knew that Dustin was right. He couldn’t just show up in Miami and try to talk to Eduardo no matter how much he wanted to. Eduardo and his father had made it clear that Mark was not welcome.

Mark didn’t really believe in fate, karma, luck. or any of the other bullshit ideas out there but when Eduardo’s therapist called two weeks later requesting that he take an “active role” in Eduardo’s therapy, Mark found himself wondering if there weren’t something to all that nonsense.


	10. Chapter 10

**Part X**

 **_Sacred Palms Mental Health & Rehabilitation Center  
Miami, Florida  
October 2007_ **

“You did what?” Eduardo couldn’t believe this.

“Eduardo. I thought we had agreed on this course of action,” his therapist calmly replied.

“Yes. I mean, no.” Eduardo was so confused and frustrated. “I didn’t expect you to call him immediately and get him to fly down here.”

“Eduardo, you have reached a critical point in your therapy; a point at which it would be best to confront some of the struggles that you are facing head on. From what I understand you have communicated that Mr. Zuckerberg is a huge part of the stress that exists in your life. You have also expressed that you still care deeply for Mr. Zuckerberg. I think that would be of great benefit if you were to interact with Mr. Zuckerberg face to face to work out some of the issues that you are having.”

Eduardo really wanted to strangle his therapist in that moment for making so much fucking sense. Asshole.

“Mr. Zuckerberg has confirmed that he is willing to fly to Miami two days from now. I will of course with your permission speak to him before we have a group session. It is my hope that after the initial group meeting that you and Mr. Zuckerberg may be able to converse on your own. If you feel uncomfortable with this at any point in time, you reserve the right to cancel these sessions.”

 _**Two Days Later** _

Eduardo was conflicted about Mark coming to Miami. On one hand, Eduardo still had strong feelings for Mark and he kind of would jump at a chance to see him and on the other hand Eduardo was so pissed with Mark. Why the fuck had Mark shown up at that hotel room? None of them would have to experience this torture if Mark had just remained his normal selfish, unfeeling self and minded his own business. The bastard.

Yes, Eduardo was well enough to know that it was actually a good thing that he hadn’t been successful that night but that didn’t mean he had to be happy about it. To tell the truth Eduardo didn’t understand what had pushed him to take that final step. Eduardo didn’t want to blame Mark for him attempting suicide. That was all on him. Yes, he was upset with Mark and yes, he was stressed out about the deposition but Eduardo knew that was not the sole reason he had tried to off himself.

If Eduardo were to be honest with himself this is why he had agreed to have Mark come to Miami. He didn’t want Mark carrying around the guilt that he was the reason that Eduardo had taken those pills.

Still Eduardo was not looking forward to the coming confrontation.

Two days later Eduardo found himself face to face with Mark. Eduardo’s therapist had excused himself from the small counseling room in an effort to allow him and Mark to “converse”. What happened to the whole group sessions spiel? The prick.

There they were sitting across the table from each other in the small room. It was like a weird parody of the depositions except it was just him and Mark. No legal team this time around. Weirdly, Eduardo found himself missing that buffer. Mark seemed content with sitting there and picking at his fingernails. It was a nervous tic of his.

Finally Eduardo had enough of the silence. “You hurt me Mark.” Had he said that out loud? Well, there was no reason to stop now. “I just couldn’t take anymore of the pain. It was all just too much. Why did you do it? Why did you go through with the dilution?" Eduardo knew that Mark would be honest with him no matter what.

“Fine, you want the truth, Eduardo?” Mark said in his usual cool and clipped manner. “You were dragging your feet and making it impossible for us to get anything accomplished. You were the wrong CFO for Facebook and I’m sorry but that’s the truth.”

That really pissed Eduardo off. “I was dragging my feet?” Eduardo questioned, almost seething with rage.

“Mark, with every suggestion that I made about Facebook, you and the great Sean Parker shot it down without fail. You succeeded in making me feel like an absolute loser. Why couldn’t you just tell me without insulting me? So advertising wasn’t right for Facebook at the time. I get that now but what I don’t get is why you chose to hurt me the way you did. And then you threw salt on the wound when I was willing to walk away by suing me for freezing the account.”

“I’m sorry that I betrayed your trust but you said you were going to sue me and you didn’t. I couldn’t just give you a chunk of Facebook outright but I could provoke you into countersuing me.”

“Wait, what? You sued me because I didn’t sue you?”

“You know what, that doesn’t matter,” Eduardo continued without giving Mark a chance to counter.

“It doesn’t make up for the fact that you purposely screwed me out of Facebook. So maybe I wasn’t the best CFO for Facebook but I was your best friend and I thought that counted for something. I loved you Mark and trusted you after I thought I could never trust another human being on this earth and you threw it in my face.”

“I didn’t know that, Wardo. I did it because I thought you didn’t believe in Facebook, that you didn’t believe in me. You chose to go to New York. You chose to go back to Harvard.”

“Is that what you think, Mark. I loved you so much, Mark and you were my only friend. My one true friend. I thought what we had was unconditional but I was wrong. I didn’t go to New York because I didn’t believe in Facebook. I went there because I did believe in Facebook. I quit my internship on the second day so that I could focus on raising capital for Facebook. I was wrong. I had it drilled into me that a company’s bottom line was profit and I didn’t want to see you fail, Mark, so I was trying my best.”

“Wardo,” Mark tried to interject.

“Stop calling me that and let me finish, Mark,” Eduardo said, cutting Mark off. ”I’m the one doing the talking now. I went back to Harvard not because of you and not because of Facebook. I went back because I made a promise to myself a long time ago. That no matter what I wasn’t going to let him take that from me.”

Eduardo had slipped up but he knew that Mark didn’t know who “he” was.

Of course Mark proved him wrong again.

 

Mark sat there for a moment quietly contemplating Eduardo. “Eduardo, why didn’t you tell me about London?”

“How did you find out about that?” Eduardo was in shock. How how had Mark found about London without Eduardo telling him.

“Your father told me”, Mark said cautiously, deciding not to mention the nightmare that Eduardo had had long ago.

“He shouldn’t have done that. He had no right to tell you about that,” Eduardo almost screamed in frustration and hurt.

“Actually he didn’t tell me the details. He thought I knew, he thought you had told me,” Mark corrected.

“Of course but you being you, I’m sure you know everything now,” Eduardo said in a defeated tone.

“I’m sorry”, Mark said. Of course it would hurt Eduardo that he had gone behind his back and gotten that file. Way to go, Mark.

 

“I only know what I read in the file. You know the true story of what happened, Eduardo. If you want to you can tell me what happened. I want to hear it from you.”

Eduardo stood up from the table and started pacing around the small room.

“There were so many times back at Harvard that I just wanted to tell you but I didn’t because I didn’t want you to see how …dirty I am. How damaged I am. You were already disappointed in me. How could I tell you what I had let him do to me?”

“Wardo,” Mark said, his voice breaking. “Wardo, you are not dirty or damaged and I was never disappointed in you. If anything I was insecure. I thought that after you got tapped for the Phoenix Club that you didn’t need me anymore. I don’t handle rejection well, Wardo, as you know. I just thought it would be easier to just push you away before you left me. I’m sorry.”

Mark found himself standing up and moving toward Eduardo, reaching out in effort to comfort him. Eduardo flinched away from Mark and made an effort to put distance between the two of them.

“If that monster weren’t dead already I would kill him myself.”

“What did you say?” Eduardo asked in a tone that Mark was unable to decipher.

“The asshole who hurt you, I said, if he weren’t dead already I would kill him myself.”

“How?” Eduardo’s face crumpled up with pain. “Stewart’s dead? Are you…. Oh, my god.” Eduardo started panicking, falling to his knees and tugging at his hair.

‘  
“Wardo, Wardo,” Mark said as he tried to grab Eduardo and stop him from hurting himself. That was a mistake. Eduardo proceeded to go into a full-blown panic attack. A few seconds later orderlies rushed in with a syringe containing a sedative. They quickly administered it to Eduardo and just like that he was out.

Eduardo hadn’t known that Stewart was dead and Mark like an idiot had dropped another bomb on him, a bomb that he was obviously ill prepared to deal with.

After the orderlies carried Eduardo out of the room, his doctor returned. “Mr. Zuckerberg, I just want you to know that this in no way your fault but I think it would be best if you came back tomorrow.”

Mark wasn’t so sure that he believed that but he nodded his head and found himself dejectedly leaving the facility vowing to return first thing in the morning to talk to Eduardo.

When he returned the next day, he was met by Eduardo’s therapist again.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Zuckerberg, but Eduardo has requested that you not return. He may change his mind. If you can, maybe you should give it a few days and try again.”

Except Eduardo didn’t change his mind and after two weeks of waiting around in a hotel room, Mark was forced to return to Palo Alto.


	11. Chapter 11

**Part XI**

 **_Miami, Florida  
November 2007_ **

 

It was a mistake to have let Mark come here. At least that was the second thing that came to Eduardo’s mind when he finally awakened from the sedative induced slumber. The first thing that came to his mind was the fact that Stewart was gone.

Was it possible that Eduardo was more fucked up then he thought because he was devastated that Stewart had died? Had he been killed by someone in prison, was he sick, did he …. take his own life? What did it matter? He was gone and Eduardo was lost because he knew that Stewart loved him. No matter how flawed Stewart was, he had loved him and Eduardo found himself mourning that he was gone.

 _And Mark._

Eduardo didn’t want to see Mark right now, if ever again. Mark reminded him of things he couldn’t have, of things that he didn’t deserve. He finally had Mark coming to him and seeking him out, caring about him but Eduardo knew the truth. He didn’t deserve anyone’s love. Especially not Mark’s. Mark was too good for him. That’s why Eduardo had told his doctor to blow Mark off. Eventually Mark would come to his senses and realize that Eduardo wasn’t good enough for him.

Eduardo had walked around all hurt and angry for the past few years because of what Mark had done to him but the truth of the matter was that Eduardo had gotten what he deserved. He had only served one purpose for Mark and then was capital for Facebook. It hurt, yes, but it was time that Eduardo faced reality. Mark had only come to Miami out of a guilty conscience. Eduardo was going to stop acting like a hurt and jilted lover. He was going to grow up. It was time that he made some changes.

 

 _**Singapore  
6 months later** _

 

The irony of Eduardo’s choice had not escaped him. He was going to be a VC of all things. That summer that he had spent tracking down and begging every VC that he could find in the New York area to invest in Facebook must have had a stronger impact than he had thought because here he was in Singapore, with the new title of venture capitalist.

It had taken some doing to get to this point. His father was not happy about Eduardo leaving but at the same time he did everything in his power to ensure that the road was smooth for him. Eduardo loved his father and knew that his father loved him (now), but he had to do this on his own. He was going to stand on his own two feet. He could do this.

Eduardo had known the second that he decided what he was going to do with his life that he couldn’t do it in the States. He would be damned before he set his feet on European soil again, and Brazil was not a place that was filled with wonderful memories either. So Eduardo had settled on a totally new location: Singapore.

Singapore was booming, it was a nice locale and its most important quality was that it was not on the same continent as Mark.

Eduardo found that he liked his job helping people to realize their dreams. It helped that he had access to an obscene amount of money. As soon as Eduardo had signed the settlement and he had access to his Facebook shares he had started selling them. He wasn’t going to sell all of them. He wasn’t an idiot but he was going to sell enough that he could have almost unlimited funds to do his job.

Of course none of this stopped Mark from trying to hound him. Mark was relentless in trying to get Eduardo to talk to him. He sent messages to Eduardo through his office. Sometimes he even had messages relayed through Eduardo’s father. How that had happened Eduardo didn’t even know. He didn’t stalk Eduardo. He would just tell him what was going on with Facebook. How he was always there if Eduardo needed him. How he was sorry about everything. All of his messages had the general theme that he wanted Eduardo to feel comfortable talking to him but Eduardo was not going to do that. It was what was best for him and Mark. This time it was Eduardo that was walking away from Mark and Facebook.

He had to do this.


	12. Chapter 12

**Part XII**

 **_Palo Alto, California  
April 2008_ **

 

It had been six months since Mark had left Eduardo in Miami. He had not given up trying to communicate with him but he was blocked at every turn. Two months ago Sy had contacted him to let him know that Eduardo had accepted the settlement agreement and that the paperwork was already signed and in his possession.

To add insult to injury Sy told him that Eduardo’s attorneys had passed along the requested that Mark not contact him anymore. That hurt, but it hadn’t stopped Mark, and today he had received a call from Roberto Saverin.

“Mark, I have not forgiven you for what you’ve done to my son but at the same time I find myself indebted to you for saving his life,” Mr. Saverin said in his booming voice.

“So I’m going to let you know that Eduardo is as we speak on his way to Singapore. He has decided to relocate. Don’t worry. Eduardo will not be going to Singapore alone whether he knows it or not. He will be under constant protection. Something you may come to find out about me, Mark. I rarely make mistakes and when I do, I make damn sure I don’t repeat them.”

Something clicked in Mark’s mind and he realized that Mr. Saverin was directly responsible for Stewart’s abrupt departure.

“Mark, I’m giving you this information because even though your past actions contradict this, in my heart I believe that you are good for Eduardo. He’s running and I can’t get through to him but maybe you can succeed where I have failed.”

Mark brooded about that conversation for weeks. He had repeatedly tried to contact Eduardo. He didn’t want to harass him but he did send him numerous messages, letting him know that he cared. He just didn’t know what to do at this point.

 **_3 weeks later_ **

It was Chris that had brought Mark to his senses. Chris had crashed at Mark’s place that night, taking a mini break while Obama’s campaign was once again on the West coast. Mark could still remember the night that he had told Chris what happened to Eduardo. Chris had spent the rest of that night bawling. It was disconcerting to see Chris lose control like that. That morning, Chris had given Mark a swift kick in the ass without lifting a muscle, something that only Chris could pull off.

“Mark, what are you still doing here. You love him. He loves you and he’s in pain. I know that you are feeling rejected right now but you need to get over yourself. You need to go to him.”

 

And that was how Mark found himself flying to Singapore. Flying to Eduardo. This would be the third time that Mark found himself in this situation. Seeking out Eduardo and trying to make up for all the mistakes he had made when he was a twenty-year-old self absorbed jerk. Maybe this time he would be successful.

Before Mark had left Palo Alto he had made some key changes to the masthead of Facebook. It was something he should have done a long time ago. Eduardo was a co-founder of Facebook and he deserved recognition for it.

 

When Mark showed up at the door of Eduardo’s apartment, Eduardo had to admit that he was not surprised. He sighed in exasperation and then found himself stepping back to allow Mark into the apartment.

“Apparently your father has decided that we were in some type of relationship back at Harvard.” Eduardo tensed up at that statement. Damn it, Zuckerberg, those are the first words out of your mouth, Mark silently reprimanded himself.

“I’m sorry. What I meant to say is that your father figured out that I cared for you before I did. And I do care for you, Eduardo. I’ve made so many mistakes but I righted one of them before I came here. I would like to show you something if you don’t mind,” Mark said, pulling his laptop from his messenger bag.

When Mark showed Eduardo the masthead he felt a sudden ping in his chest as he suddenly was transported back to that night in Kirkland when Mark had first shown him the original masthead of Facebook. He had been so proud in that moment. Still so naïve. But not anymore. He had to end this before it started.

“Look, Mark, I know you feel guilty but there was no reason for you to come all the way out here. I wasn’t the right man or CFO for you or Facebook, you said so yourself. I invested in your company and now I have what I deserved. There doesn’t need to be anything more between us.”

“Wardo, please. Don’t turn me away again,” Mark pleaded.

“Mark, you are you, and I’m damaged. Probably too damaged to ever have a functional relationship,” Eduardo said with disgust. “This will never work. You deserve so much more than what I can ever offer. I love you too much to have you tied down to me,” Eduardo’s voice broke. He found himself failing to keep back the tears that he’d been fighting since seeing Mark at his door.

“You just don’t get it, Eduardo. I love you. I’ve probably always loved you since you approached me at that AEPi meeting. It just took me a while to figure it out. You think that you don’t deserve love. You think that you don’t deserve me. It’s the other way around, Wardo. You've been through so much. You’ve been hurt so much and I’m a big part of that. But none of that changes that fact that you have such a big heart. You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve and it’s something I have always admired about you. A less than intelligent person would think that makes you weak but I know better; it makes you strong. You are so strong, Eduardo, stronger than me, probably stronger than any of us. Your father was right; you are certainly the strongest man I’ve ever known. A strong man that I love. I’ve made so many mistakes when it comes to you, Eduardo. I would love to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. If only you would let me.”

Eduardo found himself practically bawling at Mark’s proclamations. He really couldn’t form any words so he did the next best thing. He reached out and pulled Mark into a hug. It surprised even him. At first Mark remained stiff in his arms as if he was afraid to touch Eduardo before he finally relaxed enough to return the embrace.

“I’m willing to try,” Eduardo choked out between sobs.


	13. Chapter 13

**Part 13  
 _Singapore  
4 months later_**

It was not a fairytale. Eduardo and Mark’s relationship was definitely not a fairytale. The first time that they kissed wasn’t a magical kiss that resulted in an instant heal all moment.

It was a lazy Wednesday evening and Eduardo and Mark had just come back from a long walk along the boardwalk after dinner. They had held hands the whole time, letting their arms swing languidly between the two of them, taking in the atmosphere around them. Singapore was a beautiful place. It had taken them a while to get this comfortable with each other. One could almost say that Mark was courting Eduardo. Taking things slowly, happy to be sharing his space. But there were still times when things didn’t go so smoothly. Eduardo would push Mark away. Feeling crowded like he couldn’t breathe. Like Mark’s presence was suffocating. Mark took it all in stride.

Today was different. When they returned to Eduardo’s apartment, Eduardo had a feeling of deep contentment and fondness towards Mark and suddenly he had the urge to kiss him. Eduardo found himself pulling Mark towards him. He hesitated only for a moment before placing a chaste kiss onto Mark’s lips. He felt a sudden rush of exhilaration and when he opened his eyes to see the soft smile that Mark was giving him at that moment he felt like his heart was going to explode.

There were two huge entities that stood in the way of Mark and Eduardo. One was the almost tangible ghost of Stewart Rollins and the other was Facebook.

For all intents and purposes Mark had established a satellite office for Facebook in Singapore, where he would spend weeks at a time with Eduardo. He didn’t pressure Eduardo to move back to the United States once he realized that Eduardo actually liked Singapore. But Mark actually loved California and he found that he could only spend so much time in Singapore. It was one of many huge obstacles that Mark and Eduardo faced. And then the whole Beacon debacle went down. It was a disaster for Facebook and Mark found that he was spending all his time in Palo Alto. He hadn’t seen Eduardo in over a month. It was the first time that Facebook had come between the two of them since they embarked on their relationship.

At this first hiccup in their relationship Eduardo didn’t drop everything and move back to the States. He actually really liked Singapore. The exotic atmosphere of something new and different allowed Eduardo to do more healing then he had done in years and Eduardo actually liked his job. Helping others to realize their dreams while making a profit at the same time. Still, Eduardo missed Mark. Facebook was yet again driving a wedge between him and Mark. Just when they were starting to get their footing in this…thing between them.

Eduardo had run away before but he didn’t want to run anymore. That was how he found himself flying out to Palo Alto for the first time since he tried to take his life there over a year ago.

 

 **_Palo Alto, California_ **

Mark was waiting for Eduardo at the airport when he arrived. During the drive to Mark’s home Eduardo noticed that the city of Palo Alto had a golden glow about it. It was warm and sunny, the perfect weather. The dark and dreary place that Eduardo had seen before was not present. It probably never existed. Eduardo knew that the darkness had always been inside of him.

Mark was filling Eduardo in on the latest about Beacon. He seemed stressed but not unbearably so.

“It was just a misstep from the start but we are going to fix it,” Mark finished up.

Eduardo found that he actually did care about Facebook. It was hard not to. Facebook would always be Mark’s baby and although it had caused Eduardo a lot of pain in the past, he found that he did care about the wellbeing of Facebook. That was why he decided to stay with Mark in Palo Alto until the whole Beacon issue was resolved. He could manage things from Palo Alto for a while.

If nothing else, Eduardo could help with the public relations side of this whole mess. God knew that Mark needed to be kept out of the media’s grasp as much as possible.

It was nice to be surrounded by Dustin, Mark, and sometimes Chris again. It reminded Eduardo of happier times back at Harvard. Of course Eduardo still attended therapy. He’d had the same therapist for years but instead of seeing him face-to-face he held video conference sessions now. He’d had a session earlier in the day that had left him particularly raw. But he and Mark had a dinner date with Dustin and Chris who was back in town again and he didn’t want to cancel it just because he’d had a bad session. At the last second before Dustin came to pick Eduardo and Mark up for dinner, Eduardo had a niggling feeling that he should go ahead and cancel. He dismissed it as a little bit of anxiety popping up out of nowhere.

 

Mark despised driving and after he and Eduardo had spent the evening enjoying Dustin’s silliness and Chris’s tales from the campaign and how things were going now that Obama had been elected, Mark suggested that they walk home instead of having Dustin drive them back. Eduardo was fine with this. In fact it reminded him of some of their evenings in Singapore. They were walking again hand in hand and Eduardo found himself relaxing. His therapy session from earlier that day was all but forgotten until suddenly he felt a cold tendril of dread coursing down his spine. He looked up and found that he and Mark were standing directly in front of the Four Seasons.

“Shit”, he heard Mark utter in the distant background.

But Eduardo wasn’t there with Mark anymore. No he was back to an earlier time where he was lost, hurt, and couldn’t breathe. A time when life wasn’t really worth living anymore. He could feel the darkness creeping in on him. And then… it receded somewhat and he could feel Mark tugging on his arm.

“Wardo, come on, baby, let’s go.”

As the fog cleared Eduardo could see that Dustin’s car was illegally parked on the street in front of them. And Dustin was standing half way out the car giving him a worried look. Chris was still inside the car on the passenger side but as Eduardo got closer to the car he could see that Chris’s expression mirrored Dustin’s.

Eduardo let himself be pulled into the car by Mark and then they were back at Mark’s home. Chris and Dustin had long since left and Eduardo could hear Mark in the background talking to someone on the phone in a hushed tone.

“I don’t know. He just zoned out, a complete dissociation. He still isn’t all there with me. He’s been staring into space for the last forty-five minutes. Well, that’s why I’m calling you. I don’t know what to do.”

Eduardo knew that tone. Mark was scared.

Eduardo found himself blinking and shaking his head, trying to clear the cobwebs that remained there.

“Mark.” he croaked out.

Mark immediately stopped talking to the person on the phone. In an instant he was standing in front of Eduardo.

“Mark.” Again his voiced cracked, he cleared his throat and tried again. “Mark I’m fine.”

Mark’s response to this was to immediately place the phone to his ear and curtly tell whoever was on the other end, “I’ll call you back.”

Suddenly Mark was on his knees in front of Eduardo. He gently latched onto Eduardo’s hands.

“Are you sure,” he asked, “because I’m not going to lie, Wardo. You scared the shit out of me. You were almost catatonic.”

“I’m fine, Mark. I just had a bad session today and I guess it just left me a little vulnerable and then when I saw the hotel….”

“I was such an idiot to take that route,” Mark interrupted him. “I wasn’t thinking about that at all.”

“Mark, stop it,” Eduardo said pulling Mark up and helping him to get situated beside Eduardo. “It’s not your fault. This up here,” Eduardo motioned in the general direction of his head, “is still a minefield, I’m sorry to say. We just stumbled onto to something that I guess I wasn’t equipped to deal with at the moment. We are going to be okay.”

Mark studied him for a moment before nodding and pulling Eduardo into his arms. It took every fiber in Eduardo’s being to stop himself from flinching away from it. For all his false bravado to reassure Mark, Eduardo was more uncertain then ever about whether or not he and Mark could make it. He was clearly still a basket case as today had proven. How much more of this would Mark be willing to take before he finally came to the conclusion that Eduardo really wasn’t worth it?


	14. Chapter 14

**Part 14**

After the Four Seasons incident Eduardo tried to push forward with his and Mark’s relationship. He had always been an overachiever by nature and he really wanted Mark to be happy. Mark couldn’t possibly be happy in their current situation.

Middle schoolers got more action than Mark was getting from Eduardo. Eduardo knew that he wasn’t some blushing innocent virgin. No, he hadn’t been that in a long time. He knew that Mark loved him and he knew that what they had so far had been good but eventually Mark was going to want more. Would Eduardo be able to give it to him? Eduardo found that he didn’t know the answer to that.

So one night when he and Mark were cuddled up to each other after an innocuous session of making out Eduardo decided to go down on Mark. After recovering from the initial shock of it all, Mark really got into it. Eduardo could tell that he was holding back, physically straining to prevent himself from thrusting himself into Eduardo’s mouth. Eduardo for his part was enjoying the feeling of Mark trembling under him, the soft moans of bliss, and then Mark put his hands into Eduardo’s hair. And Eduardo was gone again.

When Eduardo came to, he was laying on the bed that he and Mark shared, wrapped in a blanket. He chanced a glance at Mark and he found him sitting up against the head of bed, his laptop securely cushioned on his lap, but Mark wasn’t coding. He had tears streaming down his face and every few minutes he would make a soft snuffling noise. Mark was crying because of him. Eduardo found that he was too weak to comfort Mark. So he pretended that he was unaware of what was going on until finally he drifted off to sleep.

 

A few days later when Mark was called in for a late night DOS attack against Facebook, Eduardo took the opportunity to catch a flight back to Singapore.

 

**Singapore**

Eduardo had been back at his place for less than 10 hours when there was a banging on his door. He thought of ignoring it but thought better of it when he realized it would only take a few minutes for Mark to remember that he had a key to Eduardo’s place. Eduardo opened the door to find Mark there with one of Roberto Savarin’s henchmen behind him. Mark turned to nod at the henchman and he took it as a dismissal and walked away, but not before giving Eduardo a stern look.

 

That left him and Mark alone. Mark brushed past him into the apartment without invitation. Mark paced for a moment before collapsing bonelessly onto the sofa. He brought his hands up to his face and let out a huff of exasperation.

“Wardo, you’ve got to stop running away from us”

And with that statement Mark was up again, standing in front of Eduardo.

“No matter where you go. No matter what you do. It’s not going to make me give up on you or not want you,” Mark said reaching out to Eduardo.

But Eduardo pulled away from him.

“Mark, don’t you get it. I knew this from the start. We can’t even be intimate with each other. How do you expect us to last? Why do you continue to torture yourself by staying with me?”

“Is that what this is about? Is that why you ran? Eduardo, when we started this I went in with my eyes wide open. I knew that were going to be issues that we would have to face. I know what he did to you. I know. I also know that there is a chance that we may never reach that point where we are together that way. I won’t lie and say that I won’t miss it but I‘m willing to live the rest of my life as a fucking monk if it means that you’ll be by my side.

“If you don’t get anything else I hope that you get this. I love you, Eduardo. I fucking love you and I would give up anything as long as it means that you are here with me”

Eduardo lost it and he was sobbing and then he was screaming because Stewart had taken so much away from him and he didn’t want it to be that way. He wanted to be with Mark in every way possible. He just didn’t know how to get there. And when Mark pulled him into his embrace he poured it all out to him.

“We’ll get there, Eduardo. One day we will get there and if we don’t, I’ve still got you. And you, you’ve always had me.”


	15. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

 **_London, England_ **

It had been hard to come here to a place where Eduardo had endured so much pain. For the longest time Eduardo hadn’t known if he would be able to do it. But he had help. For the first time in a long time Eduardo’s happiness outweighed his sadness. He had come here to seek closure. To confront the pain that he had suffered here. It had hurt but Eduardo had learned that closure was a good thing. Without closure Eduardo would never be able to heal and he wanted to heal because he wasn’t just doing it for himself. Yes, he was supposed to do everything for himself first but Eduardo didn’t operate that way. Eduardo wanted to heal because he needed to for both of them.

Things between Mark and Eduardo weren’t always easy. In fact there had been a lot of rough patches because Mark still wasn’t the best communicator and Eduardo really wasn’t that much better, just a little more emotional.

Eduardo would be the first to admit that he had an incredible amount of baggage but he’d come to realize that it really didn’t matter as long as you had someone there who would love you unconditionally.

 

He had come to this place to close this part of his life for good.

When Eduardo and Mark arrived at the flat that Stewart had held him captive in for those two months, he found that it was yet again raining. He’d come here to this place to confront the demons that still lay here. He knew that he would never be rid of them completely but now he had a secret weapon. As he turned to Mark he was strengthened by the fact that he didn’t have to fight them alone anymore. He could get past what happened here because he wasn’t alone anymore.

“I’m ready, Mark.” Eduardo had been carrying this hurt for far too long it was time to leave it here, in the past. This was the past and as Eduardo stepped out that door he knew that he was walking into a bright future with Mark.

Mark had been silent the whole time that he and Eduardo had been inside the flat. He could see the tears in Eduardo’s eyes and hear the occasional hitch in his breath. He knew that it was hard for Eduardo to come back here but also understood that it was something that Eduardo needed to do. In the end Mark knew that he would always be there for Eduardo when he needed him. It wasn’t always easy. Then again nothing ever was.

What people don’t realize and it’s their loss, was that Mark had grown up. He had changed and although Mark had always been patient about code, he was even more patient about Eduardo. There had always been something about Eduardo from the moment he and Mark met. It was something indefinable. Something that was uniquely Eduardo. Yes, Eduardo was damaged but that didn’t change the person that he was. The trusting and giving nature was not destroyed even when Eduardo had been to hell and back. And that was something that Mark was grateful for. He loved Eduardo and he would do whatever it took for Eduardo because Mark had grown up and he knew that it took patience to get the perfect code. And Eduardo was the perfect code to Mark’s happiness.


End file.
